today is the begining of me. im redoing myself. editing perhaps this is a deviation so that it may get across to those important to me if they stop to listen.

i am changing me, but not entirley. i am getting rid of the anger i am geting rid of it all. i will submit and do as told no argueing no nothing. i will become a puppet to society. my reasoning is so that i may oneday live a happy life. but in order to do so i mustnt fight back or stand up. if i get picked on so what it will always happen so i need to get on with the idea. i will smile and i will be cheerful. if things are thrown at me i will hand them back with a smile. if it is thrown at me again no matter the number of times i will smile. i will laugh. i will look on the brightetr side. i will be happy. i will give even if i have nothing left to give. i will luagh even if its not funny. i will be happy and joyful i will smile so i may see the ones important to me smile back. i will laugh so they laugh and i will not cry not unless i am alone. i will bear the pain in suffering alone on my own. i need no help i can handle myself.

i am doing this so that maybe one day i can truley like myself. but until then i will become like those i watch and wish we could all be like. i will change to try and make the world a happier place. even if just for a small portion.

i am going to transfer my job to another department and keep my hours the same and try for the closest shift i can. i will do this not for someone else but for me i will do something for me for once in a long time. i will do this because though my mind and most of my will have yet to give up on me my body is getting tired and i seem to be getting sicker more often... i did not realize till yesterday that my body is weak and im affraid if i keep up my job postion i will permenently become this way. so i will transfer and i will visit. and i will help as much as they need me. i will still give rides to the one who needs them i will use my break to pick him up and i will wait till he gets off to leave so i can take him home.

i welcome his return with open arms. but things have changed for me and i wish to appologize for not waiting till he got back to do this. i was going to tell him on phone but he will not answer and i will no longer call... so i am typing this for him and the ones important to me. i will wait for him till the end of my days but i will do so gracefully and listen to his wishes. he may request and i shall give. i may request once twice maybe three times a week but i will not make him give i will only simply request and oblige to his comand.

this is all for now. if i get more i will edit. thank you all so much for everything and i hope someday you may become as happy as you desire.

a farewell to you all as i am now,
HareOokami